Good Sense Of Humor

There has been lots of cross cultural evidence that a good sense of humor is one amazing trait that makes you more attractive and desirable .But many people seem to forget that yet after you get into a romantic relationship it still plays a lot of roles in beautifying your relationship and giving you satisfaction .But what is a good sense of humor and how does it affect your relationship positively ?

New research in the Journal of Research in Personality, co-authored by Kay Brauer and René T. Proyer, Ph.D., professors in the Department of Psychology at Martin Luther University in Halle-Wittenberg, Germany, studied 154 heterosexual couples, identifying and defining three traits revolving around humor that predict both the positive and negative outcomes for relationship satisfaction: the fear (gelotophobia) and joy (gelotophilia) of being laughed at ,and the pleasure derived from laughing or ridiculing others (katagelasticism).

The outcome of this research shows that women who liked to be teased shows a greater fascination, appreciation and sexual satisfaction and also a sense of togetherness with their spouse while  their male spouses also reported a greater sense of togetherness and sexual satisfaction .

According to this research women are more inclined towards men with good sense of humor in general .”Humor can be an indicator of things like intelligence “ Kay added.

Jeffrey Hall a PhD, associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas says his forthcoming research will contest the long-enduring notion that women find humor in men attractive because it signals their smarts: “The evidence isn’t there that humor used by men is perceived as intelligent by women, nor is the link between intelligence and humor strong,” he says. It’s more likely that guys who can use humor on the fly hit the mark for women because of things like “good timing, self-deprecation, playfulness, flirtiness and being inviting.” None of that is intellectual, he says.

Proyer, however argues that the desire women may feel for playfulness observed in men “could be an indicator of lower aggression, making those men especially appealing to women.”

People who don’t enjoy being teased don’t fair well among the funny. They tend to distrust “lightness or silliness,” says Proyer, making them “prone to disagreements with their partners based on misunderstandings and misinterpretations.”

Hall says “simply having a funny bone doesn’t mean you two are the perfect match—apparently being able to laugh at the same things makes your partnership even stronger.

The best part of having a sense of humor isn’t really about being able to make a joke out of everything or make someone laugh or even being able to laugh at the same things which which even makes your relationship stronger but its more about being able to create the humor together with your spouse than just having a sense of humor .

“People say they want a sense of humor in their mate , but that’s a broad concept “ says hall .

An interesting finding was that for men, having a gelotophobic partner reduced their own sexual satisfaction in relationships, probably because their partner’s insecurities make them less appealing. In contrast, women who loved being laughed at (gelotophilians) were more attracted to and enjoyed higher sexual satisfaction with their partner. No such effect was found with men. Also interesting was the finding that joy of laughing at others did not correlate with relationship satisfaction.

Talking about relationship satisfaction, people who scored high on gelotophobia(The fear of beign laughed at )reported the lowest satisfaction in their relationships, and felt less physically attractive and less sexually satisfied, compared to low gelotophobians. This makes sense, as being in an intimate relationship requires opening up and being more vulnerable, something that may feel uncomfortable for a person fearing being judged and laughed at .

You actually don’t have to be an award winning stand up comedian or see the funny side of everything someone does .which means that one comedy is not actually better off the other . The most important thing is that you both find similar things funny .whether it’s a cartoon or soap opera ,sport or a YouTube video , its important that both of you see the fun part of it from the same perspective and laugh together .The shared taste of humor helps to establish a solid foundation in your relationship .

“If you meet someone whom you can laugh with, it might mean your future relationship is going to be fun and filled with good cheer,” Hall says.

Sharing a laugh is simply like igniting a spark. just like when your spouse says something hilarious and you busted into laughter , now imagine if you can consistently laugh together what a long lasting joy-filled relationship you will have .

Positive effects of humor in relationship

  1. Humor is a great ice breaker and social lubricant , it helps you to resolve conflict

2. Humor helps men in reducing anxiety and create an undertone of distraction from whatever problems they are dealing with at the time .A woman can also use it to create a relaxed atmosphere which can facilitate reconciliation


3. Humor can improve sexual orgasm in women

Research proves to a reasonable extent that women who have humorous partners enjoy more and stronger orgasms, compared to women who have less funny partners. Women with funnier partners also initiated sex more often and had more sex in general for good reasons .

Laughing together is linked to your relationship satisfaction so keep laughing and stay positive.

By P.m.s


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